Update: I’ve written a follow on post, highlighting that when I wrote the post below, there was an aspect to my decision to stop teaching yoga that at the time I was not brave enough to share publicly.
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I’ve decided to step back from teaching and writing about yoga. It’s been 8 years and the decision surprised me.
I was waiting for coffee to brew when I had the epiphany that it was time to stop. With the realisation, the first thing that came to mind was aparigraha.
Aparigraha is one of the five yamas (one of the 8 limbs of yoga from Patañjali’s Yoga Sūtras, yamas are often described as ethical or moral rules or guidance). Aparigraha is often translated as non-possessiveness, non-hoarding, non-holding or non-clinging.
The intent is about not holding on to things – whether they are tangible things such as money or clothes, or intangible such as emotions, thoughts, feelings or memories. For me, aparigraha is more than just not holding, but about letting go.
I’m letting go of teaching and writing about yoga, but I’m not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Yoga will still be a part of my life, but I want to turn my focus on yoga inward, practicing and drawing on its benefits for me, and exploring the philosophy more deeply. Allowing the focus to be on just the task of learning and experiencing, rather than the additional passion for passing on and sharing that knowledge to others.
What’s interesting about this change, is that I’m letting go of something good. I like the classes I teach, I love the sangha (community) that has grown at Yoga for Trampers. I love that these classes involve laughter and playfulness blended with focus, movement and mindfulness. I love that many of you have been coming to these classes every week for 8 years, and that we have shared stories in quiet moments on the side.
In fact, when the lockdown stopped these classes, I spent some time thinking about what I wanted to restart. I was drawn to restart Yoga for Trampers because I liked the community and the experience of offering yoga to all of you. I also loved that these classes were affordable, and welcoming. That we regularly had people arrive for their first yoga experience ever, and that after I’d sorted the paperwork and payment, and I got ready to teach, others in the class would welcome the new person.
And I have really loved writing this blog. It grew from just a simple email reminder, to highlighting a weekly yoga pose, to more in-depth explorations and reflections. I enjoyed the opportunity to learn as I wrote, and that the task created regular motivation to write.
But as I was waiting for that epiphany coffee to brew, I realised that these things take energy and time to cultivate and invest in. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed giving this energy and time, but while I waited for the coffee to be ready, I wondered what would I do if that time and energy wasn’t spent on teaching yoga. It was then that I realised I was ready to let go, because by letting go, I would open the door for something new.
I don’t know what that something will be, but letting go means there is time for svadhyaya, a niyama (another of the 8 limbs of yoga) that is about self-study. Self-study both of scriptures, philosophies and teaching, but also the reflection and study of the self. For me, it is about making time for reflection. Hence letting go of yoga is about making time for reflection. I know I want to write, to learn and to explore, in new ways and new avenues. And only by giving myself space to reflect, can I know what might be next.
I will miss you all and I encourage you to think about your own journey of aparigraha and svadhyaya, or letting go so that you have space to reflect. You too must let go of your current experience of yoga, and you too will get to reflect on what could be with that newly created space.
And if you are looking for yoga in Wellington, I have found I feel most at home at the Urban Yoga studio, so it might be worth a visit. But I encourage you to get out and explore. There are other yoga teachers offering classes in community halls and community centres who are worth a visit. And selfishly, I would love to know if you find your next place for yoga, as I might like to join you as a fellow student.
